footstepsbank

time. @

time time.
i need more of them.

to catch up with my friends.
ive met dewgong today (:
ive met up with yiting and joyce today (:

i have yet to meet up with
dar ):
yongkun and jony ):
sox peepz ):

so much so to catch up, so much so to gossip.
yet exams are drawing near.

im sorry, i think i lost my ability to serve the biz students.
will i run? will i not?
BSC Main COmm AY 0506..
will the story continue?

his footsteps

sweet. @

its been a sweet weekend. (:

thanks to the bsc main comm.
thanks to the bsc sl camp sub comm..
thanks to those who came.
thanks to cheryl, sam sam and althea for the tie. (:

his footsteps

student awards @

student awards,
best club. cca merit.
a long year of work.
finally paid off.

but my parents aint there.
so much so for the promises made.
empty i guess.

maybe im just not good enough.

his footsteps

my love story. @

it was rumored that she's holding a torch for me.
that junior from the same cca i had.
each time i perform, she will be there for me.

i had many close female friends,
i guess each time im closer to one, she gets affected.
one day she cried, at the rehersal.

i never had someone liking me before,
or neither do i know how to react to such situation.
basically i tried to console her.
i wiped her tears, she smiled.
i sent her home.
thats how it all begun.

i have to admit,
my impression for her wasnt the best to begin with.
i dont understand her anyway.
but somehow, after few weeks, we drew closer,

14th July 2002.
are we together?
are we not?
we din offically ask each other.
soon we went out for solo dates, rather than group ones.
she would wait for me for my extra classe to end,
i would wait for her guzhen lessons to end
often i sent her home, she allowed me to
soon its expected for me to.

our love story wasnt same as the others,
it was like piecing a zigsaw puzzle.
when others around us rush into r/s and get hurt,
ours where slow, but sweet.

we started holding hands, 3 months later,
it wasnt easy for us.
her parents din agree,
until i talked to them.
soon we are offically seeing each other,
with consent from our families.
she was always easily jealous,
because she loved me too much,
and yet the insensitive side of me,
dint realise how much i hurted her

we would enjoy watching the sunset,
bulding sandcastles,
she would enjoy lying on my chest,
while i watch her to sleep.

3 months turned to 6 months,
honey moon period?
i dont think so.
our love still going strong,
though we do quarrel, everytime we give in.

on our 6th mth ani,
i chased after a bus,
because she told me to.
after 3 bus stops,
she alighted.
we just hugged.
that picture,
no words nor language can ever describe.

then came our year anni.
i broke up with her,
she cried,
i shattered.

crying on ting's shoulders,
in front of my mates.
bitterly.
those tears cant stop.
i ran to her house, in the rain.
and i kept running from then on.
i never got the courage to tell her how much i loved her.
move on junquan.
move on.

i always thought im not the right one for her,
or she is the best one for me.
yet after breaking up
i broke into depression.

i look at the year anni she gave me,
a bottle of stars.
i cried.
it was the only present she left for me.
i wanted to pack it into the box.
it gave way, the bottle shattered.
peices of my hearts shattered everywhere.
i tried to glue it back.
but its isnt the same anymore.

14th July 2003, its ended.

yet, those pieces still remains,
those memories still hurts.
i said i moved on.
did i?

in the end of the day, i want my memories,
i want my past,
i want my girl back....

thanks to those who stood by me.
thanks to those who listened.
sorry, but i couldnt get over it.

his footsteps

to my friends @

to my friends.

call me smiling
call me crying.
ill be there

rain or shine.
ill be here.

(:

his footsteps

birthday wish @

people are starting to ask for my birthday wishes.
ever since then, i have been saying the same thing.
perhaps birthday wishes lost its maigc.

when i was 15..
i wished to be happy..
when i was 16..
i wished to be happy..
when i turned 17..
i wished to be happy.
then i turned 18..
i wished for happiness.

i really want to be happy.
and experience whats true happiness like.

i want to be happy..

his footsteps

behind that boy, theres someone. @

behind that boy
those boyish looks.
those boyish character.
theres someone.

someone behind those mask.
who thinks deep.
who ulitmate wants to break free.

someone who cares.
someone who stands by that boy.

at the end of the day. he's a boy after all.

his footsteps

club @

im dying to clubb.

i need to drink, dance, and get rid of those thoughts.

pick me up someone.

his footsteps

deep thoughts. @

i have a history of being very unsensitive.
i think i need to be more sensitive sometimes,
to understand what the my friends are feeling.
and to be more aware of their happenings.

went out to xiaobais outing yesterday.
fun! the girls manage to catch up with each other.
however, me and kennth have to find our own entertainment.
typical girls, chat.
oh, teck is one of the girls too.
but driving is terrible when we dont know our way.
terrible. but managed to send everyone home before 12am.
first to alight was kennth.
then as jasmin.
followed by amelia, teck, jingmin
last to get off was man man =D

24hours isnt really enough for me.
im tired. running here and there.
but at the end of the day, its worth it.
sorry my friends if i ever neglect you.
oink. ting. raine. joyce. bird.
i hope i have time for everyone.
but i cant.

anyway birthday's around the corner.
PLEASE PEOPLE. DONT CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY.
i mean it.
i truely HATE my own birthday.
i rather it be any other normal day.
dont bring back those bad memories.

PS: for those who are kind enough to buy me presents, i dont mind! but please dun celebrate!

his footsteps

shopping! @

i must post this before chou chou reads it.

I MISS CHOU CHOU! meet up with me more often kayy?
i miss the xiaobais oso la <3
i saw chou chou today. she was rushing to meet jingmin.
i called out for her, but she din reply me.
agrh. so i called her and said "i hate u".
HAHAHAHA.

celeb bao's birthday yesterday.
(:

went shopping today with teck and bird.
teck went over to meet his friends, so left me and bird.
i cut my hair $20
brought styling clay for my hair - $28
brought a green mambo tee - $80
brought empty cd-r - $20
withdraw - $30

there goes my $100 from my mum, and $70 that school owes me.

i think i overspent.

ill blog again tonite, as well as update my wishlist, due to many complaints from my friends.
=D

his footsteps

jog. @

there.
dont jog elmo.
dont tired urself.
why are you always jogging?
tell me!

i always my reasons for doing things.
1st. jogging allows me to think and reflect on stuffs.
keeps me tired so ill sleep well at night.
and also helps to train me.

i admit, im a deep thinker.
recently thinking about OSIP.
i admit i hate to leave my friends, or my friends leaving me.
3mths, 5mths. too long for me to bear.
but im not going to hold on to anyone or let anyone hold on to my future.

my blog's differetn from others.
i blog on my feelings, rather than what i do everyday.
maybe thats how i open up to my friend.

my ex smsed me after 3 years..
i finally saw sumei and her boyfriend.
though sometimes i do regert the decisions i made.
im happy for them.

chou chou's been bugging me to update asap.
but my mind is blank.
school's back on track.
my group sure loves to gossip!
clubs are better, since im stepping down from gcc..
elections are coming im not sure if im runninng..

i need more time for my own.
i need more time for my friends.
i need for time for my studies.
i need for time for my family.

life staring to bore me.

random post

his footsteps

untilited. @

i suddenly thought of her.
visited her blog, http://joanne-dreamer.blogspot.com/
shes in TP. IT sch.
MWC,
come to think of it, shes same sch with sumei too.
but things have changed, everyone moved on.

just remains of my memories.

=============================================

my girl,
you will always be there,
somewhere in my memories, somewhere in my heart.
a faint love of what we used to shared.

2 years and 8 months, nearly 3 years since you left me.
i couldnt move on.

looking back,
we were the couple everyone's talking about.
full of envy, full of gossip, full of memories
the 1 year we spent, still brings back smiles to me.
i know its diffcult for u,
i wasnt the best of a companion to be.
thats the reason why i left you.
and maybe thats the reason you din want to get back together 2 years back then.

those memories, we shared
those surprises i made for u, and you made for me
those bus chases i made after you, and those hugs you gave
those sweet moments. those painful tears
will always be with me.

i haven changed much,
i still have more ladies friends compared to guys,
i am still enthu about student leaderships and cca
but somehow things have changed..

if i ever had the chance,
im sorry.
i know u are not ever going to read this.
but just to let you know, u are special.
always will be.

sometimes, i hope someone like you will come along.

======================================
i guess she changed so much.
she converted into christian, something i thought she would never do.
somepart of me, knows that you are happy.

his footsteps

reject. @

im sorry.
but im isnt good with words.
maybe it could have sound better.

but u isnt the one for me.

his footsteps

am i wrong? @

i turned the engine on.
the familar humming of that honda.
adjusted the headlights.
tunned the radio, that familar song again.

but somehow. its different.
where is my destination.

i took a glance. its 2am.
maybe i should head to sabby's house.
after the mahjong session, i sent everyone home.

where my destination again?
its 4am. where can i go?

anyone remember that road beside the airport runway?
it seems never ending.
my thoughts jusst went.

just me.
everything just's me.
i need to change.

his footsteps

social sucide. @

i look down that list.
all those names that are close to me.
no longer felt they are.
i wana vent my negative thoughts on someone.
yet no one seems to be there.

i know this blog is read by alot.
both my close friends, as well as hi-bye friends.

i tried approaching dar, but i couldnt place my burden on her smiling face.
dont do anything stupid, she said.
smoke? drink? slice?
i dont do that.

come to think of it. maybe i was a lousy friend.
i cant balance out my time.
i was supposed to have lunch with my ex classmates, but i went to bsc room instead.
i was supposed to go for bbq session, but i chose not to instead.
i was supposed to meet gab chek and maisie. but i chose not to instead.

wadeva my reasons are.
i made promises.
and i made them empty.

i think thats the reason oink dosnt call anymore.
i think thats the reason im drifting from everyone.
ting. raine. oink.
my classmates.
xiaobai.
even my family.

where can i find my comfort in?

family. friends. studies.
everything crashes down on me.

his footsteps

BLOG. @

i cant sleep.

simply because tomorrow is rumored to be the result of the best club award.
BSC. BSC .
among out 2 objectvies,
internal bonding and best club award.
we achieved one.
will it be a clean sweep?

one year of effort, hardship, conflicts.
lifetime of memories.

kai got his attachment at thailand. maisie going to china. so are loads of my friends.
man man gona go too!
*niam niam* man man yao fei le~ man man yao fei le~
fei DUN MEAN FAT HERE. it means fly.

i think ill cry if my friend leaves.
i hope i can go osip with teck too.

imcomplete post.

his footsteps

dinner @

today was about.
eat eat and eat.

met up with joey and jingmin in the morning for breakfast.
attended tutorial, then went to eat with js.
pool- talk about r/s. HEH.

after that soccer with bsc peepz.
fun.
i think i lost a ton.

by the time i reach home, chou chou said she haven bathe yet.
anyway i was rushing out for family dinner.

LOOK.
i feel outcasted laaa

my dad held my mum.
my sis held her bf.
ME?
walk alone behind.

my mum asked wheres my gf, i din answer.
throughout the trip i felt outcasted.

wadeva.
im tired.
nitez

his footsteps

driving @

it never gotten over me.
i let it bothered myself too much.
i cant get over those incidents
the traffic lights, the body scratches.

today @ parkway parade multi storey car park.
i checked if my car is able to pass through.
but i din check if i made it over the small hump.
unfortunately i did not make it.
when i went out to check, i saw no damage on the car.
however taking a closer look at night. i saw scratches .
the paint of the body kit has been damaged, hopefully not the body kit.
it seems serious though

i wonder how much will it cost this time round.
im not driving AGAIN.

im sorry.
tomorrow i gona tell my dad. lets see how things goes.
to me, nothing beats the truth.
lets see if my dad gets the point i am coming from.

his footsteps

tired @

im tired.

recently im busy with business studies club events.
those who know me will know why am i commiting so much.

but as a result

friendships are strained.
health and studies are affected.
24 hours will never be enough for me.

his footsteps

more than worrds. @

success is spelt all over in my family.
it seems that there is no room for failure.

dad's been so successful that he can afford not to work for years.
sis has been successful ever since primary sch. Aces Aces Aces.

Me?
I never been a successful person in the eyes of my family.

When I collected my CCA award in secondary school, none of my family members was there.
Maybe the school i attended was East View, instead of Ngee Ann
I was there with my parents when my sis collected hers

When I recieved my O lvl results, no one bothered to call. No one asked where I was heading to.
Maybe because straight Bs isnt anywhere near straight As

Parents so every supportive when she was in the council in JC, mine never even bothered im in 2 unions.
Maybe Poly cant be compared to JCs.

In the eyes of them.
Success is never being related to me.

Grades. Money. Certs.
The cold hard reality of life.

----------------------------
More than words - Frankie J

Saying I love you
Is not the words
I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel

More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me, yeah
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if I took those words into
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hand and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go

More than words is all you ever needed me to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me, yeah
Cos I'd already know
More than words....

his footsteps