footstepsbank

26/08/2006 @

if i ever know that ill put you through so much,
i wont even started it.

in 3months
evrything changed.
we never thought we would come so far.

if you leave,
will i let you go?
or will i chase in pursuit?

if you leave,
is it that you really want to go?
or you want me to go chasing.

sorry twinnie.
i have to leave for hongkong in 18 days.

follow you heart,
eventually everything will turn out fine.

i hate myself

NOT afriad to carry on.
BUT too afriad of hurting you.
never was easy to wait for someone.
never was for us to leave each other in the first place.

his footsteps

AH @

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shout.
where am i?

his footsteps

thoughts-edit @

define happiness.

still remember the days,
where everything's that simple.
i brought you out for supper.
i brought you to the movies.
i sent you home
i accompanied you when you were bored. tell you jokes that aint funny
i asked if you had eaten, or rested enough because of your work.
i din had to bother about people around you,
simply because i had not fallen so deep.

but now everything seems different even though
i still bring you out for supper,
i still bring you to the movies, (click was the 7th movie we watched)
i bring you to gatherings,
i still send you home.
and still does go to that special place.
i accompany you when you were bored,
talk you to sleep, sing you silly songs
say "i love you" every 00:00.
but i stopped asking about you.
and started to get bothered by everyone else.

everyone wants a special someone.
a special someone who belongs to them.
remember the day when i told u that i had a crush on you.
we talked about expectations,
and everything came true now.

i have my own expectations of myself,
i have my own expectations of you.
i withdrew my expectations of you,
which only seems to hurt me more.
maybe now you will start to understand why i withdrew them all.

you din change
i din change
we din change,
the only difference now compared to last time,
is we fell deeper.

i dont need you to tell me that you miss me,
i dont need you to tell me that you love me.
but i want you to know i miss you,
and i want you to know i love you.

i told you before i din know how to be a good boyfriend.
sorry that im a disappointment.
i know there will always be people there for you.
i want to be there too,
but there are always too many noises before i could reach you.
i read our past convo, i recall our past converstations
i realised i always shut you before you could tell me anything.

supper,
movie,
dinner,
stayovers,
mashed potatos,
our special places.

my silly dodo,
if you ever read this (which i dont know when).
maybe you will understand, maybe you wont.
i admit i was very disappointed that i could not spend your birthday with you.
you are way too popular, and too many people love you.
and that makes me think other wise.

I LOVE YOU.
so?
I MISS YOU.
so?
I CARE FOR YOU.
so?
I WANT YOU.
so?
i always thought im doing things because i love you.
but on your birthday i realised there's another reason to it.
so what if i love you?! your friends love you too.
maybe im different, or maybe im just like any other friend of yours.
but i want you to be happy, smack that wide smile on your face.
i want to be the only hands you need to hold on to, the only person to lead you on.
and that only special person you would wana depend on.

i read it somewhere in your blog before.
you are never the kind that let your emotions show.
i can only guess, i can only feel,
but sometimes i feel that its only me
izit through hugs that i feel?
or kisses that i felt?
are holding hands what i feel it meant?
assurance,
thats what we both need.

all i want is the best for YOU.
you my princess, my love,
my silly dodo
my kaiqi.

his footsteps

happy birthday. @

the cake

the wish

the blowing of candles

the date

the present

the girl of my life.

happy birthday my love.

that smile is what im here for (:

his footsteps

walk out. @

friends. family. kaiqi.
everyone have a chance to walk out on me.

his footsteps

(: @

this is where it all started, where we first held hands.
walk with me, lets be there for each other (:

his footsteps

@

catch it.

love it.

save it.

throw it BACK. :)

- twinnie

his footsteps

thank you. @

Thank you my friends,
for walking me through my life.

ps: the photos are not in order.
and i realise i dont have photo graph with alot of people.
people like bird, ting , raine.
whaever it is. thank you.

his footsteps

@

i dont know how long more can i hold.
before i finally breakdown.

his footsteps

to twinnie. @

3 promises broken in a day.

i called at 12, you dint pick up.
you said you will help with my project, you dint.
you said you will come by 630am, where are you now?
its already 1pm.

im tired.
very.
yet im too worried and i love you too much to be angry.
i am waiting.
still waiting.

his footsteps

to twinnie @

you wasnt there for me when i needed you,
and its not the first time.

i gave you my trust, i gave you my faith.
dont break it, or go over the limit.
sometimes i know things even without you saying.
i dont question, i dont ask.
but that dosnt means i dont care.
you still have my faith, you still have my trust.
dont break it, nor go over the limit.

or it might be too hurt for me to carry on.

footprints from the past-
! kaiqi ;reality time check. says:
i knw how much twinnie feel for me
! kaiqi ;reality time check. says:
i juz knw
! kaiqi ;reality time check. says:
and i cant help but feel back for not being able to lighten ur load
! kaiqi ;reality time check. says:
^bad
! kaiqi ;reality time check. says:
every now and then
! kaiqi ;reality time check. says:
it hurts me as much as it hurts u
! kaiqi ;reality time check. says:
seein me fallin sick and stuff
junquan says:
silly..
! kaiqi ;reality time check. says:
i really love u silly
! kaiqi ;reality time check. says:
twinnie u knw i will nv let go of u not unless u wan me to

things lidat keeps me going.

i love you. thats all i know.

his footsteps